Investing 101 April 28, 2026

How to Build Independence in Your Children and Your Business Teams

Raising children and managing business teams both require you to build independence rather than force compliance.

My 12-year-old came home one evening buzzing about making it to the elimination round of his school’s math olympiad. That same night, I found him on his gadget, not studying. I pushed him. He pushed back. Later, he sent me a message: “When you force me to study, it makes me not want to do it.” That stopped me. I had been so focused on making him comply that I had lost sight of what I actually wanted for him.

When things had settled, I sent him a message back. I acknowledged I came on too strong and told him the olympiad was not the point. What I wanted was for him to give it a fair shot because he cared about it. The next morning, he was up early to study on his own, after threatening he would not bother to prepare at all. A few days later, he made it through. It made me realize I had been approaching my son the way I have learned not to approach the people I lead in the workplace.

“The instinct to perform authority is not the same as actually having it.”

How Managing Portfolios Mirrors Guiding Children and Teams

At ATRAM (ATR Asset Management), active portfolio management means making deliberate, conviction-led decisions rather than reacting to every market signal. This approach builds value over time. Reactive portfolio management erodes it. The philosophy is straightforward, even if the practice is not: resist the impulse to act on short-term noise, trust the process over the moment, and let compounding (the process where the earnings on an investment are reinvested to generate their own earnings over time) do its work.

Leading people is not so different. The urge to intervene, to correct, to be visibly in control is the same noise. Avoiding it is the same discipline. I earn authority through how I show up, not by how loudly I assert it.

A leader who has to approve every decision hasn’t built a team. She’s built a dependency. Managing through a market downturn taught me more about the cost of reactive decision-making than any leadership course ever did.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I substitute "forced compliance" with a more "conviction-led" texture in leadership?

To build a high-performing team, substitute the "instinct to perform authority" with conviction-led guidance. Much like active portfolio management at ATRAM, effective leadership requires resisting the urge to react to every short-term "noise" or mistake. By setting the standard and then stepping back, you allow room for your team to develop their own judgment. This shift ensures they perform because they care about the outcome, not because they are being watched.

What is the secret to achieving "compounding" growth in a child's or team's development?

The secret is to trust the process over the moment. Compounding in finance is when earnings generate their own earnings; in people, it is when a person’s independence leads to further self-driven growth. When you stop intervening at every step, you allow this cumulative process to take hold. The "ingredient" for success is leaving enough space for the individual to want to succeed on their own terms.

What common mistake should I avoid to prevent building a "dependent" team?

A frequent mistake is micromanagement disguised as engagement. When a leader is present in every decision and every meeting, they quietly signal a lack of trust. To fix this, avoid the urge to be indispensable. Micromanaged teams stop exercising judgment and learn to wait for direction. Instead, invest heavily upfront in people and culture, then "get out of the way" to ensure your team becomes more capable rather than just more compliant.

How should I "store" and measure my legacy as a parent or a leader?

"Store" your legacy in the independence of those you lead. In both motherhood and leadership, the ultimate goal is to build something—or someone—that outlasts your presence. The measure of success is not how much they need you, but how well they make good decisions when you are not there. A leader who has made themselves unnecessary has successfully built a lasting foundation of autonomy and trust.

What "ingredients" are necessary to build a child's ability to make good decisions?

The core ingredients are expectations, proximity, and mistakes. Set high expectations, stay close enough to "catch them before they fall," but maintain enough distance so they never stop trying. Allowing a young person to find their own way through errors is essential for their formation. It is a "long game" where unremarkable daily choices accumulate into a person capable of living—and thriving—without you.

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